3 Secrets To Breaking A Habit And Creating A New One.

Breaking an unwanted habit that we’ve had for many years is no easy task. So, I’d like to share with you the 3 best things I learnt several years ago when I was training to be a meditation teacher with the renowned Dr Deepak Chopra. It’s a technique that really does eliminate unwanted habits from your life with minimal willpower or effort.

Allow me to start with an example many of you may be able to relate to. So many of us want to improve the physique of our body. We want to feel and look good in beautiful clothes, we want to look into the mirror and admire our reflection that we’ve worked so hard to improve and take ultimate care of. The question is why do so many of us self-sabotage by giving up and going back to the old routine? If you ask anyone who’s done this, they’ll tell you: ‘it was just too hard, I didn’t have time, I’m just too tired to go the gym, all my family are overweight so why should I be different, I’ll never be slim, diets just don’t work for me, it’s genetic or I just don’t have the willpower.

But it isn’t directly about any of those things.

If you’ve read the work of Dr Joe Dispenza, Bruce Lipton or Greg Braden you’ll know that all long-term habits have a very strong neural network in the brain. The longer we’ve been carrying out the habit, the more ‘hard wired’ the program in the brain will be. And the fact that this habit has extremely strong bonds, makes it really tough to prune apart.

So, when we want to break that habit, quite naturally we place all of our focus on it. In most cases we become obsessed with the very thing we’re trying to give up! And logic tells us that wherever we place our attention is where our energy will flow. So, if we’re focusing on our bad habit, we’re essentially going to make it even stronger!!

In the beginning a new routine, a new intentional habit is exciting. We set our goals, write a new diet plan, join a local gym and we’re motivated and inspired to make our dream come true. The new activities provide us with lots of naturally made ‘feel good’ chemicals and we enjoy a break from the old habits.

The only problem is, after a very short while, the new routine presents challenges and the cravings of the old hard-wired habitual pattern gets increasingly stronger. As we venture further away from our comfort zone, the brain and body start to do all they can to make you return to your old habits. How does the brain do this? As a pure survival mechanism to return you to old patterns, mechanisms in the brain will essentially become obsessed with the very things we’re trying to give up. The habitual neural network in your brain will be firing action potentials, creating electrical signals and producing chemicals that travel around your entire body that scream outloud,

‘this dieting and exercise sucks, feed me now!’

This of course, causes us to become so torn between that which we crave and the new body image we’d created in our mind.

If one of my students come to me with this very issue this is what I teach them.

1. First of all, it’s essential to know what’s going on inside the mind and body. An awareness of the physiology of a ‘habit’ is a great starting point to understanding what exactly is going on inside of them. This means time out in silence to observe the thoughts, be aware of sensations in the body. No judgments, no opinions, just pure observation as the witness to the mind and body.

2. Secondly, rather than focusing (and becoming obsessed) on the habit we want to eliminate such as poor food choices, we can choose to focus on what new habits we are going to make part of our life. Now, its super important to actually chose things that you really do want to introduce in your life, so it’s essential to carry out extensive research on the new habits you’ll be introducing. Essentially you’ll be placing all of your focus on the new habit. So, if that’s healthy food, you will become an expert on nutrition, read books, watch videos on how to make the healthiest meals and snacks. You’ll learn about nutrition, how it connects with the physiology of the body, and in doing so you’ll have a new appreciation for the gift of food and what it can do to heal a huge number of ailments from the inside out.

When you do this, you’ll be giving your time, your focus, your commitment to this plan. You’ll have invested energy into this new-found habit. You’ll have a new-found appreciation for food. You’ll be creating new neural networks in the brain and in doing so the old habitual pattern will start naturally pruning apart.

Essentially, the only way that new habits will be formed is if you are placing one pointed focus on new patterns of behaviour.

3. Thirdly, this is when meditation can really keep us on track and maintain our vision. Time out in silence to restore and reset, to connect with our essential nature is imperative to real long-term change. When I meditate, I automatically visualise it as time out where I plug into universal source, rather like plugging my mobile phone into the charger. Time out in meditation can also be used to visualise our ultimate goal. This is an incredibly valuable tool to keep us moving in our chosen new direction.

And when we meditate, we become present, more aware, we become the observer of our own thoughts, behaviours, choices, actions rather than our subconscious program running the show. Pure awareness, present moment awareness, now there’s a novel human experience.

So, what are your plans over the next 12 months?

I made several promises to myself:

· to read one book each month which will include at least 3 biographies of inspirational people.

· The intention to be aware of my self-doubts that tends to strengthen whenever I step out of my comfort zone, which is most of the time nowadays!

· To walk into my fears. The only way to overcome fear is by taking massive action. So, no more procrastination for me. When my body screams out, ‘don’t do it, you might fail!’ and adrenaline is coursing through my blood, I’m going to keep going and know that on the other side of fear is a great lesson. There’s no success in anything we do without walking through fear.

As all great leaders would tell us, if we want to be successful at anything we need to be hungry, obsessed, committed, dedicated, motivated and have a crazy ‘dog with a bone attitude!’ Success is my only option. Am I scared? YES, I am, but I’m excited too. Will it slow me down or make me run back to the comfort zone? NO WAY!

I wish you all the joy and success to becoming the very best version of you.

This is not a dress rehearsal! One shot, one life. Go for it and make it happen for you.